It hurts due to the sheer power of the emotion. It takes over and leaves you more vulnerable than you ever thought you could be. There's so much opportunity for loss and I've missed the mark so many times. There's also the matter of confidence but we don't need to touch on that. What I do know is that that heartbreak is the best kind and I don't think I could be weak in any better way. That feeling is worth it and it's addictive.
I'm insatiable.
"Maybe we just need to believe that lemmings jump off of cliffs to prove that they love us and sure that sacrifice is empty but it's nice to believe that somebody up there cares enough to plummet onto jagged back-breaking rocks in an attempt to tell us we're beautiful."
I am not always on time. Please don't expect that from me. Yeah, I will be late, but if you can just wait I will make it eventually.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
These are just ghosts that broke my heart before I met you.
I don't like air conditioned environments.
They're really cold.
Not that I mind being cold. I generally am about 20 degrees colder than anything else in the vicinity.
But air conditioned cold is a different kind of cold. Artificial.
Cold should come naturally to people, I think.
Today is the first day my mom turned on the air conditioner this summer.
I've been really uneasy all day.
I'm wearing my winter clothes to keep out the cold.
I think Miranda July is brilliant. I've been fixated on her today. I started reading her book, "No One Belongs Here More Than You". It's incredibly profound and real. I don't really know what else to say about it. I can't put it down though, it's just such an interesting view of humanity. I also watched her film "Me, You and Everyone Else We Know". It was also fucking brilliant.
I originally wrote this in a notebook because my brother was on my computer so I couldn't use it. This blog was a lot longer in my notebook but I don't really want to include the rest. So this is all.
Soundtrack to my life:
The Debt - Julia Nunes
Coming Up Easy - Paolo Nutini
Happy - Never Shout Never
She's A Lady - Forever The Sickest Kids
Air Mattress - Conor Oberst
They're really cold.
Not that I mind being cold. I generally am about 20 degrees colder than anything else in the vicinity.
But air conditioned cold is a different kind of cold. Artificial.
Cold should come naturally to people, I think.
Today is the first day my mom turned on the air conditioner this summer.
I've been really uneasy all day.
I'm wearing my winter clothes to keep out the cold.
I think Miranda July is brilliant. I've been fixated on her today. I started reading her book, "No One Belongs Here More Than You". It's incredibly profound and real. I don't really know what else to say about it. I can't put it down though, it's just such an interesting view of humanity. I also watched her film "Me, You and Everyone Else We Know". It was also fucking brilliant.
I originally wrote this in a notebook because my brother was on my computer so I couldn't use it. This blog was a lot longer in my notebook but I don't really want to include the rest. So this is all.
Soundtrack to my life:
The Debt - Julia Nunes
Coming Up Easy - Paolo Nutini
Happy - Never Shout Never
She's A Lady - Forever The Sickest Kids
Air Mattress - Conor Oberst
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